Copied from WendellWit.com, Wendell's self-built web home.
If I know the readers of my blog (and considering they number barely in the double digits, I should know them all by name), you're probably asking yourself, "Who is Jason Calacanis? Is he somebody I should know about? Isn't he a minor Presidential candidate or American Idol contestant?" Actually, he is an Internet Entrepreneur, which is a little of both. He was smart enough to name his little company Weblogs Inc. before anybody else, then sold out to AOL for umpteen million bucks back when umpteen million seemed like a lot of money. He then revived Netscape, turning it from a brand name associated with something or other to something else entirely. Now, he is a Venture Capitalisto (although the other VCs laugh behind his back for having only umpteen million) and has a personal blog where he blogs about blogging. His ReadersDigest-Campbells-Super-Condensed self-description: "Looking for TNBT" (Fortunately, 'TNBT' is not one of those abbreviations you put in a CraigsList Personal, but rather stands for "The Next Big Thing". I think. I hope.)
Among the personal stuff on his personal weblog is his bulldog named Toro. I was considering making fun of how obvious a name Toro is for a bulldog, but then I remembered how my mother named her miniature poodle Coco, after Famous French person Coco Chanel and ended up having everybody ask her why, since the dog had gray fur and not brown fur, she had named her Cocoa. So, I'll bet Jason occasionally has to explain why he named his dog after a brand of lawn mower. He also does a lot of writing about his weight and his painful efforts to lower that number, which is nothing unique, but he has apparently trademarked the word Fatblogging®™©№∞ (or at least has registered it as a domain name).
Anyway, after handing the Unevil O'Reilly his heinie in response to the well-meaning-but-over-reaching Blogger Code of Conduct, the Calacanis dude has written his own set of Rules for blogging about him... that is, if you want him to link back to you. He's calling it Link-Baiting, which is nicer than the term I'd previously seen for it - Link Whoring. Honestly, I prefer the less-sexually-suggestive name for it, even if Jason is trademarking it too. Let's face it, Jason C. is a Master-Link-Baiter.
But here is my problem. I have been blogging on-and-off since the Fall of 1999, when the only Blogging Jason was Kottke. (More off than on, probably 2-and-a-half of the 7-and-a-half years engaged in active bloggery at most) I know a golden opportunity to introduce a new, smart, and much more nerdy audience to my written nonsense when I see one. And it was no problem to write something up that fulfills most-if-not-all of Calacanis' requirements. 
I had a little problem with his request to "post a picture of me when I wasn't fat". Since my current weight is approximately 1.7 Calacanises, none of his pictures look fat to me. So, I just took his picture from Wikipedia (where his is considered significant) and "thinned it" a little. I hope he likes it.
But back to the point: I am just now returning to blogging after another depression-induced semi-hiatus. I have a lot of big plans for this place and all my "pseudo-network of sites" (including resuming my webcomic-blogging) but they aren't ready yet. I don't even have any Shameless Commerce set up to take advantage of a Jason-Calacanis-induced wave of traffic (I took down my Google ads when I realized that, for a humorous blog filled with attempts at witty wordplay, AdSense becomes AdNonSense). So why bother?
Well, my philosophy at WendellWit.com is "If I Can Bring a Laugh To A Single Person [based on current traffic statistics] While At The Same Time Make Fun OF Somebody Much More Successful Than I Am, WHAT THE HECK!" Bring it on, Link-Boy!!!
Continuing problems with my Cabal Internet connection have made updating the blog somewhat difficult... in the 'passing a camel through the eye of a needle' kind of difficult. Fortunately, I have had plenty of neglected Real Life issues to deal with, helping to keep my will to live down to a manageable level. But I'm not going to blog about any of them right now. Right now, it's almost 80 degrees at Wendell Castle in the mini-outskirts of San Luis Obispo, Californium, which means at least 7 to 8 degrees warmer inside Wendell Castle. I have yet to figure out exactly what this building is made out of, but I suspect Global Warming could be delayed by several years if they tore it down. Unfortunately, I have 6 months left on my current lease.
Anyway, here I am, baking in the Central California Sun and, in an act of certified masochism, web surfing on a hot laptop, keeping my lap warm enough to guarantee my sterility for the next year, and I come across this little graphic from Weather.com:
WHAT?!?
Light rain? LIGHT RAIN? I survey the skies around my current location (one nice thing about the boondocks is the ample quantity of available sky). Not a cloud to be seen, let alone Light Rain! Look at the forecast below the mysterious rain report. Tonight, Clear. Tomorrow, Sunny, Warm. Foreseeable future, Sunny, Warm. Just Guessing Five Days Out, sunny, Warm.
I decide to go to Weather.com's latest Web2.0WidgetGadgetBellAndWhistleDogAndPony feature, its Interactive Weather Map and it confirms what I've seen with my own eyes. 
No rain. The nearest clouds are several miles off shore and not getting any closer. (For your reference, my actual location is south of San Luis Obispo, just to the east of the 'e' in 'Sycamore Springs')
So why did Weather.com do this? Were they paid off by some envious East Coasters? Has the Weather Channel been acquired by NewsCorp, thus making their definition of 'weather' as unrelated to reality as their definition of 'news'? Or did some dude at the official SLO Weather Station spill his Mountain Dew into the rain gauge?
This calls for some Citizen Journalism. I'm going to remove the hot laptop from my warm lap and go out and investigate. Be back soon.
I found some Hawaiian-Sweet-Bread hot dog rolls in my local MegalomaniacMart and I was inspired...
What if I cooked up a Sweet Italian Sausage, and put it in a Hawaiian Sweet Bun, then added Sweet Relish, Maui Sweet Onion (or Vidalia if in season, this isn't a Hawaii thing), Honey Mustard and Brown Sugar Barbecue Sauce. And maybe some Sweet Potato Fries on the side...
Would
it be, like the Sweetest Sandwich Ever?
Would it be safe for a Type 2
Diabetic to eat?
Maybe add a little High Fructose Corn Sweetener just
for the hell of it?
Please advise.
ADDENDUM: Would this be safe to be served with sauerkraut or would it cause a kind of matter/anti-matter reaction that would destroy my kitchen?
